Unveiling

This passage is from a writing sample I saved on my computer during a time in my life that was very lonely, very painful, and at times I didn't know if I was actually going to be able to make it. I'm not really sure why I never shared this with you all until now. Maybe I was scared of taking off the mask, being vulnerable and letting you into who I really am. I hope this blesses me as much as reading it after all this time has blessed me. Gosh, it's amazing to see just how far I have come, and recalling exactly what I was going through at this exact time. And, if I had to redo it all over again, I'd do it in a heartbeat :) 

As I sit and read Hosea, and how God told him to marry a whore, and what to name his children. And how he goes onto explain what he allows the whore to do; and how he will leave her in the wilderness after being used by the men she sleeps with; and how he will expose her because of the lifestyle she chooses to live, I can’t help but compare my life with this one. 

No I am nowhere near being a whore or like one (whatever that really means anyway), however, my life living on this earth has not always been pleasing to Him. There have been times when I’ve gotten the nudge just before doing wrong to do right but instead I let my flesh take over, much like Hosea’s wife, and chose to go my own way. There were people I dated that I shouldn’t have dated or even entertained for that matter. There were friends I had that lasted way past their expiration date. And some life long choices I will forever have to live with that I sometimes wish I never made. But like his wife, God exposed me, he brought me back to a place where he could deal with ME. My heart, my mind, my EVERYTHING. And I can’t help but think about just where I am today. 

Sometimes my heart is so broken I don’t know if I can get past the next second. Sometimes all I can do is cry out to God and ask “Why” simply “Why”. When I go to pray, sometimes the only words to come out are “Jesus”. Although, this period hurts I know that it’s for good reason. See, God is in the midst of doing something Big. It may seem minute to others but between Him and I, I know he’s doing something Big and the only way to do that and get ALL the glory is by stripping me, exposing me, and showing me, me. Working on Me, Molding Me and Transforming Me in a way that only he can. Then and only then will I truly know who he is and his sweet sweet love. 

A love like his is something you can search high and low for on this earth and you will NEVER find. His love is something that all you have to do is seek with a true and honest heart. His love doesn’t judge. His love doesn’t say you have to be perfect, or even know what to say and the right things to say. His love is just that LOVE. Pure LOVE. And like anything else it comes with a true relationship with him. 

So if you’re searching for love, for a void to be filled, seek him. He’ll fill that void like no other. I’m a living witness. Some may say things in my life right now are nothing in comparison to others and that’s fine, what I can deal with may not be what someone else can and vice versa but I can tell you the hurt and voids that I’ve been left with were only ever truly filled by loving Him and Him loving me. So I say go love on Him for a while. What do you have to lose? 

He’s probably already starting doing to you as he did Hosea’s wife, exposing her, and getting her to a place where he could really deal with her whole heart and the full essence of who she was. Give all of yourself away to him, and he will give all of himself to you.

Conversations with Christ

A while back as I was reflecting on my past relationships with my little boyfriends, I started to feel sad that they were no longer around; not because I missed them or the relationship, because Lord knows I'm far beyond that, but because I thought I did something wrong. I wondered, gosh was I that bad of a person? I thought, I was a genuine person; there for them when they needed me; giving of my time, heart, money, whatever it was I'd give it just to make them happy even if it meant I was unhappy. After all, my inconvenience would be minor in comparison to the joy felt seeing a smile on their face knowing I was able to help. 

It was during that conversation with God that He showed me that no matter what I did, when it comes to relationships there is nothing under the sun you can do to make the wrong man stay, and nothing you can do to make the right man walk away. Whatever God brings together for a greater purpose WILL come to pass. 

Oftentimes we struggle with believing the man in front of us is the man God has for us. I mean after all, did you pray and earnestly ask God if he is even suppose to be in your life? Is he part of the greater purpose God has for you? While you're switching your hips and poppin your lips in front of some man that you know deep down ain't for you, YOU are slowing driving a wedge deeper and deeper between you and Christ out of disobedience and hindering the manifestation of your purpose that God created you for.

Sure, you might be doing some work in the church or whatever area Christ has called you in, but remember this...God don't bless mess. He does ALL Things in decency and in order. So while you're still doing your "work" and carrying on with "him" you're allowing the enemy to rob you of your joy, eventually your peace and your purpose.

I'll never forget the first time I heard this quote from Paula White in one of her sermons about Breaking UnGodly Soul Ties, "When God goes to bless you, he sends a person in your life! When the enemy goes to mess you up, he sends a person in your life". So be mindful of your relationships, both friendship and romantic. Ask God to remove any hinderances, distractions, or people that would come to hinder your walk with Him and the manifestation of your purpose. Then sit back and watch God move. You might be surprised just how much you allowed yourself to be attached to that was a hindrance. Not everyone that's "for you" is actually "For You!". 

I remember being with my ex boyfriend and as much as I knew deep down something just wasn't right I constantly tried to fit a round peg into a square hole. After years of effort being done in vain I eventually noticed all the peace, confidence and zest for life I had was slowing depleting. Then one day I woke up and he was gone and along with him walking away I realized the peace I once felt and the nearness to Christ I once had was diminished to nothing. The tears of joy and times of worship I had with Him were replaced with anguish and tears of pain asking God, Why? Why did he allow me to continue on for so long? Why did I WILLINGLY and freely hand over my peace and confidence?!

It was then that he reminded me of the times he warned me to let him go. Let him Go! But see, I was too concerned about hurting his feelings and losing the identity that I had with having a boyfriend and the idea of someone claiming they "loved me" more than I cared about being disobedient to the word of God and hindering my walk with him. Along with me fully understanding that without a shadow of doubt God loved me. My father in heaven loved EVERYTHING about me. He loved me for who I was, flaws and all. I wasn't told to dress more like this girl, or wear my hair like those girls, or talk more like this. See he designed me to be different unique in his eye, so how could I be "different" or "unique" if I parading around looking, dressing and sounding like "them"? To be honest, over time it tore down my self confidence, my anxiety level was through the roof, and my self esteem, was, well almost non existent. I'm sure to people that I surrounded myself with didn't know and couldn't see the scares on my heart and the tears that I shed night after night, morning after morning in the shower, while driving or after talking to family over the phone but it was there. I had to put on a brave face and smile in the midst of it all and its in that time that I learned that when God allowed me to reach my bottom (where he wanted me, where he needed me) he was able to build me up to be the strong woman that I am today. I can once again walk with my head high and a smile on my face that's genuine and radiates from within, because in spite of what my outside may look like or the little problems I might have I am truly happy and I've never really been able to say that. 

My prayer for the longest time was for him to bless me with the right relationships with both men and women and a Godly relationship that will be my one day marriage. While I can't report that I'll be getting married today or tomorrow, I can rest in knowing that one day God will bless me with a spouse. And, at the end of the day if it's not his will for me to be married then so be it. At the end of the day it's Him and I, and I know he will fill ALL of my days up with joy, peace, and blessings that I can't even imagine possible. 

So sure while I could blame him and say he robbed me of so many things, in the grand scheme of things I willingly handed them over to him. Why? Because I thought the more I gave to him the more he would choose to stay. I gave him more than I gave Him! Christ, my father in heaven...the one that created me for a purpose other than pleasing a man on this earth that didn't do anything to deserve me. 

So love, it might hurt a bit to see some folks go, but whatever he removes he replaces with something even better. Sweeter than the last.

So please don't waste anymore time entertaining folks. Entertain Christ with a conversation, because he will truly blow your mind if you let him.

Stay hopeful loves

Xoxo
~Nell

Daily Devotion: Lesson Learned

Over the last 3 months I can actually say I'm learning more and more how to act selflessly. No, I'm not going to sit here and portray an inaccurate picture of perfection, but I can say that I've learned to take out what, "I want", from the equation of what ,"People need", of me.

You see, when I lived in Miami, it was just Me. Me all day, every day...sure the addition of Mimi came later down the road but it was just Me. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it and no one could tell me to do otherwise. It was a good and bad thing. I learned how not to procrastinate so much, but I also learned that I needed people and relationships around me to learn to do more for others and not just do what I wanted at that moment for myself.

Since I've been back in VA I have had a schedule packed with Baby Showers, helping coordinate events, birthday parties, dinners, bonding with girlfriends over brunch, catching up on the phone (so not me), helping with family and the list goes on. I can honestly say God is truly working through me because in the past my negative mindset of me needing "me time" would have taken away from the joy and need that people had of me. And this became possible by a true obedience to Christ. When I prayed and asked God to change my heart towards others to look more like his, it wasn't a "comfortable" feeling and process to go through. There were and still are many days when I feel like throwing in the towel, and doing what I want to do..then it's like I get a little gut check and nudge to say, you've come so far, do you really want to start all over. His word says Proverb 28:14, "Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity." I don't know about you but I choose not to fall into calamity, into an abyss of the unknown due to my disobedience of what I didn't feel like doing.

The very next breath you take is not promised, and I think sometimes we take that for granted. Sometimes we need to be reminded of that, because when God calls you home, will there still be works left that he told you to do, but you said "not right now father" or will your heart and mind be so free and clear that he will surely call you his good and faithful servant? Seeing ourselves for who we really are is never a fun and pleasant reflection, in the beginning at least, but one day if you keep on going and doing all that God asks of you to do no matter how "uncomfortable" you may feel you will look back at yourself and think, I still got it. So, become comfortable with the discomfort it's pushing you closer and closer through to your purpose, obedience and having a heart like His.

Stay hopeful loves

xoxo
~Nell

Daily Devotion

When my desires to impress people became less than my desire to impress God, then was he able to show me who I am and his desires for me. As I decreased, he increased. He showed me his purpose and desires for me and in turn his desires for me became my desires, and it all became so much easier to accomplish. 

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." ~Psalm 37:4

Daily Devotion

From what table are you eating? From the table of life? Or the table of death? The more you continue to ingest or stay in situations out of disobedience to God, the more it will become your "normal", the dysfunction will become function, the anger will become "justified", the hate will become "provoked".

What you sow out of disobedience, that will you also reap out of disobedience. Take a moment to ask yourself, why? Why the hate, why the anger, why the dysfunction, why the confusion...just why? Don't allow yourself to remain in a stage in your life out of convenience to your disobedience, that can cost you your life...eternity.

John 4: 32,37; But he said to them, "I have food to eat that you do not know about."...For here the saying holds true, "One sows and another reaps."

Stay hopeful loves

xoxo
~Nell

Wednesday Worship: Cling To You

Oh how I love this day! I get to share with you all a song that has been on my heart and blessed me so much. Something about great worship that can shift the atmosphere and allow you to hear Gods voice in the most resounding way!!

Stay hopeful loves

xoxo
~Nell

What's one of your favorite songs at the moment?

Daily Devotion

Sometimes God calls for a quiet season in your life and during that time you understand just what it means to stand alone. If you totally surrender to the experience, it'll be the most exhilarating, rewarding, life-changing, eye-opening experience in your life ever. 

Stay hopeful loves

xoxo
~Nell

About Our New Changes

In a world where sexual influence is everywhere, I just want to be that light in a dark place. A place where we not only look Holy but live Holy. A place where we can live free, worship Christ, and look great serving Him. I'm just following the charge Christ has put on my heart. Where I can be the wick and he be the flame and that flame not go out but burn stronger and deeper for Christ daily. I pray Flourishing Hope blesses you as much as creating each post has blessed me. 

Some of the new content will consist of outfit ideas (Modern Modesty), daily devotionals, new christian songs and books to help guide you on your journey of life, and other exciting news and content the Lord presses on my heart to release. 

I've prayed long and hard about this change and I pray it truly blesses you, and can help bridge the gap between cultures, generations, and people that just love Jesus and want to know and do all they can do to serve him. 

~Why be the same when we're set apart to be so different~

Love you guys :)

xoxo
~Nell