Over the last 3 months I can actually say I'm learning more and more how to act selflessly. No, I'm not going to sit here and portray an inaccurate picture of perfection, but I can say that I've learned to take out what, "I want", from the equation of what ,"People need", of me.
You see, when I lived in Miami, it was just Me. Me all day, every day...sure the addition of Mimi came later down the road but it was just Me. I did what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it and no one could tell me to do otherwise. It was a good and bad thing. I learned how not to procrastinate so much, but I also learned that I needed people and relationships around me to learn to do more for others and not just do what I wanted at that moment for myself.
Since I've been back in VA I have had a schedule packed with Baby Showers, helping coordinate events, birthday parties, dinners, bonding with girlfriends over brunch, catching up on the phone (so not me), helping with family and the list goes on. I can honestly say God is truly working through me because in the past my negative mindset of me needing "me time" would have taken away from the joy and need that people had of me. And this became possible by a true obedience to Christ. When I prayed and asked God to change my heart towards others to look more like his, it wasn't a "comfortable" feeling and process to go through. There were and still are many days when I feel like throwing in the towel, and doing what I want to do..then it's like I get a little gut check and nudge to say, you've come so far, do you really want to start all over. His word says Proverb 28:14, "Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity." I don't know about you but I choose not to fall into calamity, into an abyss of the unknown due to my disobedience of what I didn't feel like doing.
Stay hopeful loves